Harry Potter falls to the Dark side

In times like this, with Sandra Bullock's wedding, Stars Wars episode III: Revenge of the Sith in theaters (albeit the dollar theaters at present) Tom Cruise dancing on Oprah's couch, Samukeliso Sithole a transsexual arrested for competing as a woman in African athletics and the new Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Half-breed Prince released this week, it's important to remember that google drives a huge number of people to to this site who were actually searching for this crap.

I'd like to take a moment to address any of the morons that managed to get to this site from a search of these phrases. Please, for the love of God find a hobby, do something other than search out meaningless crap on the internet. It's bad enough that a children's book has sold over a bagillion freakin' copies, the majority to adults it seems and that Stanley Crouch's latest "The Artificial White Man: Essays on Authenticity" is ignored by all but the terminally nerdy, but you have to actually take time out of your day to go to google, yahoo or where ever it is that the vacuous muttonheads of the internet start their little adventures and actually search for this inane crap. Honestly, how do you live with yourself? What do you talk about at dinner? Or are you as I suspect the sort that sits hunched over your TV tray shoveling canned spaghetti into your wagging mouth as you stare in silence drinking in all the latest on Pop Idol?

Obviously scatter brained simpletons aren't our only visitors at the Salmagundi. Our readers run the gambit from sexual deviants to rednecks all the way to the worst of the worst, liberal arts graduates, and all are still welcome... well, except for the idiots I mentioned before and of course clowns, somethings just wrong with them... oh, and all people with "ski" in their name, they can't be trusted... and people with too many cats, it's just odd... oh, and the left handed, they'll rob you blind, it's true. Outside of that really rather small group, everyone else is welcome.

Other interesting but less inane search phrases that brought people to the Salmagundi are ...

• Salmagundi (an obvious choice)

• Enumclaw (home to the worlds largest adult petting zoo)

• Rabbit meat ('fraid I have to take responsibility for this one)

• Emeril was born in (while obviously it hit my short story , God knows what they were actually looking for)

• Redneck trailer houses (kind of proud of this one )

• White men rape black women (hope they enjoyed my prose)

• Can dogs eat oil (WTF?)

• Ass eaters unanimous ( OK obviously I didn't get to vote on this one, I do hope they meant anonymous, but honestly at the end of the day, does that make it any better?)

• Cock boxing (how can you not do search on cock boxing)

• spillane middle school school supply list (that soccer mom had to be suprized by what she found)

• Scatting (again, guilty as charged)

• Naked pooja (who doesn't love a naked pooja)

• Low labido in menapausal women (hmmm)

• abe vigoda (the KING!)
  

Well, that's it for now. I'll report again in the coming months what google washes up on the Salmagundi shores. With topics ranging from equine impalement to vibro scissors the results are bound to be interesting.