DARWIN WINS!
There are still some people that surprise me even though I know that humans are basically capable of anything. I do mean anything. I have always told my kids that when it comes to originality, the human mind is unsurpassed. If a thing is even a thought that is possible to think of within the confines of the human skull, somebody, somewhere, at sometime has tried it.
In Wales this week, a young rugby fan (26 yrs.) decided that if the Welch rugby team beat the English rugby team "I'll cut my balls off", according to REUTERS. Evidently he meant it, even though his friends thought he probably had a pint or two too much stout. After the earth-shattering victory of Wales, he ran home, grabbed a knife and whacked his nuts off. Really. No shit. The real McCoy. He then ran back to pub with his family danglies in his sweaty palms and showed them what he had done.
Damn.
I have, I admit, done a thing or two to get a shock value out of it. Nothing extreme, of course, but anybody with siblings can talk about small pranks or "pushing buttons." I mean, the look on the faces of the pub patrons would have been something to see, I have no doubt. But what would a man love so much that he would slice off something on his body, never mind the jewels themselves? Well, for this little genius I guess it must be rugby or freaking the pub patrons out completely. As for me, I cannot imagine anything that would compel me to even contemplate it. I do not like food, sex, oxygen or a foot massage enough to do that. I sure as hell do not like sports enough to do that. The one favor that this has granted is that at least he will never procreate, and the gene pool just jumped 14 points on the NASDAQ.
What did he imagine he would do with them AFTER surgery? Hang them on the wall? Have them brassed like the baby's first shoes? The world may never know. He was taken to a hospital where he remains in serious condition. Serious? No kidding? I think they should just do him a favor with a full frontal lobotomy. Darwin wins this round totally.
In Wales this week, a young rugby fan (26 yrs.) decided that if the Welch rugby team beat the English rugby team "I'll cut my balls off", according to REUTERS. Evidently he meant it, even though his friends thought he probably had a pint or two too much stout. After the earth-shattering victory of Wales, he ran home, grabbed a knife and whacked his nuts off. Really. No shit. The real McCoy. He then ran back to pub with his family danglies in his sweaty palms and showed them what he had done.
Damn.
I have, I admit, done a thing or two to get a shock value out of it. Nothing extreme, of course, but anybody with siblings can talk about small pranks or "pushing buttons." I mean, the look on the faces of the pub patrons would have been something to see, I have no doubt. But what would a man love so much that he would slice off something on his body, never mind the jewels themselves? Well, for this little genius I guess it must be rugby or freaking the pub patrons out completely. As for me, I cannot imagine anything that would compel me to even contemplate it. I do not like food, sex, oxygen or a foot massage enough to do that. I sure as hell do not like sports enough to do that. The one favor that this has granted is that at least he will never procreate, and the gene pool just jumped 14 points on the NASDAQ.
What did he imagine he would do with them AFTER surgery? Hang them on the wall? Have them brassed like the baby's first shoes? The world may never know. He was taken to a hospital where he remains in serious condition. Serious? No kidding? I think they should just do him a favor with a full frontal lobotomy. Darwin wins this round totally.
posted by Phelonius at
2/09/2005 06:25:00 PM
4 Comments:
I concur with you -- damn! Darwin does his duty indeed.
-- Rufel
By
The LQ, At
10:26 PM
Maybe he plans on starting weddingtackletaxidermy.com.
By
Chad, At
4:50 PM
You're a bad, bad man, Chad...
I can't even begin to imagine what could have motivated him. But by that token, what about that dude who slowly offered himself up as meals to the cannibal in Germany? Gene pools needs some chlorine, I'm a-thinkin'... at least this guy brought his own bottle.
By
boxingalcibiades, At
5:43 PM
I agree Russ. The thing about it is that unless it affects a person directly, as in losing a relative or learning that a member of your family is as crazy as hell, really the human race does benefit from this self-purging of the gene pool.
By
Phelonius, At
2:28 PM
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