Glow In The Dark Pigs
According to the BBC, a group of scientists in Taiwan have mixed the genes from a jellyfish with those of pig embryos in order to create green, florescent pigs.
On purpose.
No shit.
I have read enough comic books and seen enough movies to know what happens when you give a mad scientist time, money, and a lab. In this case you get green pigs. That is better, I guess, than a living body made of parts of corpses or a death-ray laser pointed at the Earth from the Moon. Mad scientists are great. I want one. If I were a billionaire and had a mad scientist working for me, I would want a holodeck, my own "Bigfoot" or a flying saucer. So why green pigs?
"In daylight the researchers say the pigs' eyes, teeth and trotters look green. Their skin has a greenish tinge. In the dark, shine a blue light on them and they glow torch-light bright...The researchers say they hope the new, green pigs will mate with ordinary female pigs to create a new generation - much greater numbers of transgenic pigs for use in research."
"A green pig? You da MAN!!"
Oh, I see. Research. Instead of spending their valuable time working on my long-overdue flying car, these madmen have, at last, addressed the dire need for pigs that can shine like a blacklight poster at night. I do not have a flying car yet, but dammit, I can now finally have my own glow-in-the-dark pig. It is about time. Think of all the uses that florescent pigs will have! If you are a farmer and want to know where your pigs are at night, why, you can see them for miles. Personally, I cannot wait to serve up a great big, steaming fresh green ham with a salad and lime jello.
Hmmmm, come to think of it, pigs don't have many uses besides eating scraps, tearing up the mud and being eaten.
So the next step, naturally, is to breed them. What is better than three mutants? 3,000 mutants of course. Look what breeding mutants did for Monster Island. I am sure the mad scientists in Japan are all pointing their fingers at Taiwan and yelling. They still remember Godzilla, and now Taiwan is breeding "Jellypigs," or whatever they wind up calling this mutagen-powered menace, and I bet the Japanese are laying odds on how long Taipei is going to last. (Unless the Communists get there first, of course.) There is no word on whether they become super-sized or shoot beams out of their eyes. You just cannot predict how a mutant army is going to destroy your city.
Be on the lookout for "Jellypig," coming soon to your locality.
On purpose.
No shit.
I have read enough comic books and seen enough movies to know what happens when you give a mad scientist time, money, and a lab. In this case you get green pigs. That is better, I guess, than a living body made of parts of corpses or a death-ray laser pointed at the Earth from the Moon. Mad scientists are great. I want one. If I were a billionaire and had a mad scientist working for me, I would want a holodeck, my own "Bigfoot" or a flying saucer. So why green pigs?"In daylight the researchers say the pigs' eyes, teeth and trotters look green. Their skin has a greenish tinge. In the dark, shine a blue light on them and they glow torch-light bright...The researchers say they hope the new, green pigs will mate with ordinary female pigs to create a new generation - much greater numbers of transgenic pigs for use in research."
"A green pig? You da MAN!!"
Oh, I see. Research. Instead of spending their valuable time working on my long-overdue flying car, these madmen have, at last, addressed the dire need for pigs that can shine like a blacklight poster at night. I do not have a flying car yet, but dammit, I can now finally have my own glow-in-the-dark pig. It is about time. Think of all the uses that florescent pigs will have! If you are a farmer and want to know where your pigs are at night, why, you can see them for miles. Personally, I cannot wait to serve up a great big, steaming fresh green ham with a salad and lime jello.
Hmmmm, come to think of it, pigs don't have many uses besides eating scraps, tearing up the mud and being eaten.
So the next step, naturally, is to breed them. What is better than three mutants? 3,000 mutants of course. Look what breeding mutants did for Monster Island. I am sure the mad scientists in Japan are all pointing their fingers at Taiwan and yelling. They still remember Godzilla, and now Taiwan is breeding "Jellypigs," or whatever they wind up calling this mutagen-powered menace, and I bet the Japanese are laying odds on how long Taipei is going to last. (Unless the Communists get there first, of course.) There is no word on whether they become super-sized or shoot beams out of their eyes. You just cannot predict how a mutant army is going to destroy your city.
Be on the lookout for "Jellypig," coming soon to your locality.
posted by Phelonius at
1/12/2006 02:49:00 PM
2 Comments:
I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.
By
Sal, At
3:32 PM
The swine farms can be called "Green Acres."
But seriously, yeah, what IS the point of making green, glow-in-the-dark pigs?
"Because we can?"
Will they make a red-nosed reindeer for the hell of it?
By
John, At
9:20 AM
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home